The What? The What of the What What?

I was once asked to describe what Quantum of Solace is about in a tweet.  140 characters isn't enough.  140 words wouldn't be enough.  This is the quantum mechanics of the Bond franchise.  Compared to the Bond by numbers of the Brosnan era and the brutality of Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace is confusing.  But not that confusing.  You won't need Professor Brian Cox to do a DVD commentary.


Quantum of Solace is Daniel Craig's tricky second album. 

OK, it's a film and not an album but you know what I mean.  How to follow Casino Royale?  Well, you don't have to follow it, you can continue from it.

'You shits! I've only had this car five minutes'

Quantum of Solace uniquely sees us picking up from where we left him at the end of Casino Royale.  Although he does seem to have changed suits. Mr White is in the boot as Bond rally drives around a well placed quarry before arriving in Siena.  This is a car chase that Roger Moore could only have dreamed of in The Spy Who Loved Me.  Now I'm not quite sure what we're doing in Siena or even Tuscany but we'll go with it.  In what can only be described as a sewer, MI6 set about interrogating Mr White to find out just who he is and who he works for.  We'll soon find that the organisation he works for is Quantum, a 21st century S.P.E.C.T.R.E. but infinitely more insidious and shadowy.  Quite literally, Quantum has people everywhere as displayed by a good old fashioned double agent.  Our double agent, Mitchell, is pursued by Bond across rooftops and over vehicles before an ingenious sequence where the pair cling to scaffolding reminiscent of a Newton's Cradle.  Bond prevails before we are launched into one of the more bizarre Bond themes.

An unlikely duet of Jack White and Alicia Keys belt out our theme song.  It's clunky and unorthodox, a far cry from Dame Shirley but it kind of works.  Once again we've got to the theme song and we haven't seen Craig do an opening gun barrel.  The gun barrel is incorporated into the film's closing credits when Bond has finally gained closure from Vesper and is 'truly' James Bond.

The investigation into Mitchell's double agent status sees M get the hump over her judge of character and some unwanted Christmas presents.  What's more pertinent are the dodgy banknotes he had floating around.  Some fancy computer work takes Bond to Haiti and Dominic Greene.  Bond bumps into Camille in an improbably shiny Ford Ka before we find out who Greene really is.

Greene is an environmentalist on the surface.  We take a deep breath and hope this doesn't take us towards Die Another Day territory.  It's OK though as we find that Greene is a member of Quantum and has some dodgy dealings with big chinned Bolivian General Medrano.  Greene and Quantum have taken steps to restore the General to despotic power in Bolivia in exchange for a patch of desert.  This is Bolivia so there must be some marching powder about?  No,  Medrano assumes Greene is after oil and laughingly lets him have the plot of land convinced it's worthless.  In an act of revenge Greene gives Camille to the General and diverts his attention elsewhere.  Cue some maritime fun.  The opening car chase and now this boat chase are at breakneck speed, in fact, the whole film is.  Quite a contrast to the slow building tension of Casino Royale.

Medrano isn't the only one that assumes Greene is after Bolivian oil as we see the CIA do a deal with him, much to the annoyance of Felix Leiter.  A CIA director with a 'tache bigger than his brain tries to play hardball (that's what the Americans call it, yeah?) with Greene before striking a deal to turn a blind eye to Greene's plans in exchange for a drop of the black stuff. This all takes place mid air before Greene pops down to Austria to enjoy a spot of culture.

Bond gets his phone mixed up with Snake's Codec

Our night at the opera is a glorious sequence.  Bond actually does a bit of spying before acquiring a goody bag in the gents.  This goody bag means he can listen in on and identify many of Quantum's members as Tosca rages on stage.  He hasn't cracked the scheme yet but he sets about putting some names to faces.  This is quite an achievement as most of the faces look like stills from Metal Gear Solid.  Let's hope Bond doesn't turn out to be a genetic experiment or bump into Revolver Ocelot.  Bond's extraction from the meeting he has gatecrashed is problematic and ends up with the death of a member of Special Branch.  Bond doesn't actually kill him but still ends up having his privileges revoked.  Bond has gone renegade. Again.

Bond needs to get to La Paz but doesn't have a passport or any cash.  He also doesn't have any allies at hand so turns to Rene Mathis.  The last time we saw Mathis he was being tasered and carried away for 'debriefing' having been identified as a crony of Le Chiffre.  It appears he's actually innocent.  Bond appeals to Mathis' warrior instinct and ropes him into a trip to Bolivia via a swanky aeroplane bar and several (6) Vesper martinis.  Mathis is a walking pharmacy but Bond sticks to gin and a twist.

Upon landing in La Paz we encounter Agent Strawberry Fields (groan).  The delicious Gemma Arterton is connecting Craig's Bond to his predecessors, especially Connery.  The chemistry between Craig and Arterton is great.  It's a shame she doesn't last too long.

The reintroduction of Camille comes before a final farewell to Mathis and the uncovering of Greene's real plan.  Bond is identified as a threat to Greene and dear old Dominic uses his General in high places to frame Bond.  This time for the apparent murder of Mathis.  The final scenes with Bond and Mathis are touching as Bond realises that to be a spy he has to be alone and will, ultimately, have to sacrifice himself.  Mathis' unceremonious disposal by Bond sees Bond put his armour back on.  He won't allow others to get too close again.

With Camille in tow we head to the air again to take in a survey of the land Greene has acquired.  Handily, Camille is Bolivian Secret Service and has some orienteering skills.  Our sky bound jaunt is shortlived as Bond is shot down and has an almost Moonraker-esque parachute moment before crashing into a cave.  The true extent of Greene's scheme is revealed as the local water supply has been dammed off.  Greene fooled everyone into thinking he was after oil when, in reality, he plans to hold the country to ransom over utilities.  Eon and nPower better be kept an eye on.

I'm glad I'm not cleaning those sheets

Bond returns to La Paz to find M in his hotel room.  Now we know that whenever M goes into the field something bad happens and true to form we find that Agent Fields has been killed.  Greene has had Agent Fields killed in an oily homage to Goldfinger.  We've shed the 60's sensibility that saw a strategic cushion protect Shirley Eaton's modesty and are shown Arterton's full curvy death.  M orders Bond arrested and is concerned he is fuelled only by revenge.  All too easily Bond escapes but not before adding a touch of class by insisting Agent Fields' is recognised for her bravery.

Quantum of Solace has negotiated itself into a cul de sac before the timely reappearance of Felix Leiter.  It's Leiter's information that leads us to the film's conclusion.  In the middle of nowhere Greene is meeting General Medrano to dot the 'is' and cross the 'ts' on his reclamation of power.  Naturally the meeting takes place in a hotel.  Not an ordinary hotel but a hotel powered by hydrogen.  Yep, liquid hydrogen.  Even Scaramanga would've steered clear of that.  Greene reveals just how screwed Medrano is before our old fashioned Bondian climax.  Plenty of explosions, broken glass and axes don't divert from Camille exacting her revenge whilst Bond extracts the information he needs from Greene.

Greene is abandoned in the desert by Bond.  Both men know he will die in the desert, either by his own hands or by Quantum's as they assume he's told Bond everything.  Bond tosses Greene a can of oil in bitter memory of Agent Fields.  It would appear Greene did spill some of Quantum's beans as Bond travels to Russia and confronts Vesper's 'boyfriend' Yusef.  Yusef is apparently on Quantum's payroll and uses his charms to extract secrets from well placed ladies.  This time she's Canadian.  Bond shows restraint by letting M arrest Yusef.  M softens and officially gives Bond his job back.  We all know that he never left.  By dropping Vesper's necklace in the snow we see Bond gain closure.  This chapter of his life is over.

Overall Quantum of Solace doesn't quite live up to Casino Royale.  That's not to say it's a bad film, it's just it's not very 'Bond'.  The reboot has evolved and it's straying a little far from the apple tree for my liking.  We've had Bond's love story and his tragic revenge but now Bond needs his Aston Martin back and he needs to have a flirt with Moneypenny.  The rumours are that these elements will return and we already know Q gets a new face for Bond 23.  And it's not before time.

James Bond will return in Skyfall.  And I can't bloody wait.  That gun barrel better be at the start as well.

It's better than Never Say Never Again

Unlucky thirteen for Roger as Octopussy sees all the good work done by For Your Eyes Only wiped out by an ineffectual baddie and a dodgy Tarzan impression.  Still, you can't make an omelette without breaking a few Faberge eggs.

For Your Eyes Only was a stripped back reboot of the Bond franchise made necessary by the outlandish Moonraker.  Octopussy sees a return to slapstick and nonsense, it's complete reversal only avoided by Jaws and that fucking pigeon being absent.  The circus involved is more than just a setting.  At the heart of Octopussy is a reasonably good story, a renegade Russian general wants to storm Europe with the aid of a nuclear accident.  Unfortunately, the story is a Christmas tree and the writers and producers just kept adding tacky baubles and bits of tinsel.

Octopussy doesn't actually start of all that bad.  Disregarding the pre credit sequence which really is a load of Toro the film proper begins with 009.  Oh, yes, another '00'.  He doesn't get to do much as he's dispensed with the Ferrero Rocher and ruined the ambassador's patio doors before a cunning deployment of a Faberge egg.  A fake Faberge egg as we soon find out.  The fake egg seems to be of more concern to M and (bloody Hell, yet again) the Minister of Defence, than 009's demise so Bond is sent to Sotheby's to find out what's going on.  Meanwhile General Orlov is having a right ding dong with General Gogol.  He only wins as he seems to be in charge of a revolving table.  A Pyrrhic victory as his comrades basically tell him to shut up.  Watching Steven Berkoff sulk is brilliant.

I will defeat Bond with smarm

Back at Sotheby's Bond deploys some poor sleight of hand and raises his eyebrows higher than the auction bids.  The auction is eventually won by mysterious Afghan Kamal Khan.  Naturally this is Bond's cue for a plane ride.  Destination India this time.  We now see Khan in his natural habitat.  A massive nod to Goldfinger sees Khan fleece a Fawlty Towers-esque major at the backgammon table.  Bond intervenes and takes a ridiculous pile of cash of Khan.  Trousering enough bank notes to make Zimbabwe's inflation rate look minuscule Bond annoys Khan's henchman and goes on a tuk-tuk ride downtown.  Now it's time for a random chase following in the footsteps of The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker.  Villains are everywhere and pour out of the crowd to chase Bond across hot coals and a bed of nails.  It's all very tiresome, especially when they needn't have bothered.  To get anything out of Moore's 70s/80s Bond all you have to do is appeal to Little Roger.  Khan's interestingly accented associate Magda has a turn between the sheets and recovers Khan's treasure before falling off the balcony.  The only intriguing part of Magda is her tattoo.  Her tattoo loses all mystery when we later hear of the women-only island.

Things are getting muddled.  We now have a bonkers Russian general passing on jewels to Khan to forge who then uses Octopussy to smuggle them around.  Octopussy has a squad of fearless fighting women but owns a circus.  She's got the hump with James Bond.  But how does any of this help Orlov make his tank divisions go east to west?  What's the point of Octopussy other than to get Bond and Andrea Anders in the same room again?  And who the bloody Hell is Rita Coolidge?

Octopussy is a mess of a film wrapped up in a game of 'That's not Roger' as myriad stunt doubles hurtle around the jungle and hold onto planes.  Real Roger pops up ebery now and then to tell a tiger to 'sit' (I know) or bugger up the planting of a listening device.  Khan smarms his way through scenes rather than offering any menace and Q is unleashed into the Subcontinent only to hold on to a native ally as he expires and fly a hot air balloon.  None of it makes any sense or makes you care about anything.  You could see why Moore really wanted to call it a day before the cameras rolled.

 Somehow we establish that Orlov has planted a nuclear bomb in Octopussy's circus and is in the process of double crossing Khan and Octopussy by running off with the valuables.  For a bloke Hell bent on world domination he is very involved in petty theft.  The Western world's hopes lie with Bond, so what does he do?  He gets on a train.  No good can come of this and, true enough, a fight with a spot welding twin kicks off.  At least Bond got out of the gorilla suit.  By now Orlov is dead, his character completely redundant and yet his bomb still counts down.  Berkoff was completely wasted as Orlov was relegated to the sidelines.  The film would have benefited from him taking over from Khan as the main villain of the piece.

What do you mean this bomb has no Waldorfs?

I'm serious

Anyway, about that bomb.  It's in the big top of course but Bond is stuck outside a phonebox in a stereotypical German town.  Bratwurst flies as he steals a car and makes his way to the US Air Force base where the circus is performing.  Whilst being hunted by base security Bond manages to apply perfect clown make up and head inside.  Not a smudge of the chalk face as Roger heads towards the base commander.  The base commander has relented on his search for a Waldorf salad and is lapping up the circus shenanigans.  You can almost see the bomb timer counting down as eventually Bond convinces people he's not part of the circus.  With predictable ease the bomb is disarmed with seconds to go.  Europe is saved!

How Roger's clown make up should have looked

Alas, a debrief on the biggest crisis since Cuba has to wait as Bond and Octopussy return to India for a dust up with Khan.  Invoking the same light aircraft which featured at the beginning of Moonraker Bond is up over the mountains.  This whole sequence only serves as a dry run for the end of The Living Daylights as Khan gets his comeuppance leaving Bond to convalesce on board Octopussy's private yacht.

Apart from the fact that Octopussy is a turgid lump in the Bond canon it's notable for one reason.  It was produced at the same time as, and went up against, Never Say Never Again and the return of Connery. It's good that Octopussy pulled in more dollars than Never... and hopefully now that MGM have the rights to Never... we'll never see it again.

Octopussy jumped up and down on For Your Eyes Only's goodwill and was a step too far for dear old Roger.  It should have been an omen that most of the crew had Delhi belly on location.  There's one more to come from Roger.  Hopefully he'll go out with a bang rather than a whimper.

James Bond will return and this time he'll be accompanied by another Avenger.

No, not one of those Avengers

Fiddler In The Monastery

After the over the top and frankly horrendous Moonraker Bond is returned to his roots.  This is almost a reboot as Bond is stripped bare and we have a film actually driven by plot rather than stunts and gadgets.  For Your Eyes Only is a reinvention, we have new music for the gun barrel and Roger seems to be buying into it.  He doesn't look as tired and disinterested as in Moonraker.  The next Bond reboot, Casino Royale, bears a few similiarities to For Your Eyes Only, both are stories of double cross with hints of revenge.  However, For Your Eyes Only doesn't start too well.

Sheena the Gozerian

Bond visits Tracy, the only reference made to Mrs Bond during Roger's reign, before being interrupted by a soon to be remote controlled helicopter.  It seems Blofeld is back, crippled and soon to be dead once and for all (or not Kevin McClory).  Moore's Bond has never faced Blofeld before and this is a timely, if a little flippant, nod to past glories.  As Blofeld falls away to nothing the warble of Sheena Easton takes over.  The most notable thing about Easton's involvement is her boat race plastered all over the opening titles.

Back to the film proper and we soon find we have an understated, almost subtle Cold War thriller on our hands.  Secrets and Russians abound as we have a naval ship, the St Georges, disguised as a trawler doing a bit of actual spying.  There are no killer freighters hungry for the Royal Navy but an almost humble World War Two mine to provide Great Britain with problems.

This is where we need M, not the bleeding Minister Of Defence.  A mark of respect to the late Bernard Lee but a memo would have been better than Fredrick Gray.  The extent of Gray's conversation seems to be 'Hmmmm'.  It's like his prostate is falring up.  Thank God for good ol' General Gogol.  It's Gogol who lets us know what the Navy were looking after, an ATAC which turns out to be some kind of nuclear submarine walkie talkie.  Quite an important bit of kit and now the Russkis are after it.  Cue Bond.

Or not.  We're off to the Greek Islands first where some posh bit with too much hair is going home to daddy.  It doesn't end well and a long and lazy close up let's us know she's out for revenge.  But will she bleach her upper lip first?  Now it comes together as Bond is tasked with finding a Cuban hitman, shame it's in that bloody Lotus.  It seems the daddy of posh bit (Melina) was a British agent.  This doesn't explain the quite bizarre difference in accents.  Anyway, Bond goes off to find Tony Montana.

There's a Viagra joke in here somewhere

Cunningly dressed as a middle aged man trying to recreate his youth Bond bumps into Melina and her crossbow and loses the Lotus. YES!  This is the first time we've seen Moore's Bond have to think on his feet as in between umbrellas and a very resilient Citroen 2CV he escapes some goons.  A quick lecture for Melina on the perils of vengeance before Bond is headed back off to Blighty.

Seeing that Q pretty much invented LCD TV amongst other things it's a bit odd he still uses a Charles Babbage original.  Despite this, the interplay between Bond and Q this time around is up there with the best and helps Bond identify a bloke from a Tron storyboard as a bad guy.  Target acquired.  And he's Belgian.

Sporting some more dubious leisurewear Bond encounters Ferrara (reprised as Casino Royale's Mathis?) and Kristatos.  Now I don't trust Kristatos.  Anyone spending that much time watching teenage ice skaters is a bit dodgy.  Even if he is sponsoring her.  And he's got a Russian bird in his employ.  Alarm bells should ring loud but Bond is happy to make friends and let Kristatos lay the blame with Colombo.  Thank God Bond didn't make friends with Bibi.  Perhaps Roger put his foot down over the age difference.  Despite later thinking that Bond is from the British Narcotics Board(?) Kristatos sells Bond his story.

Colombo is 'The Dove', a semi legit businessman who munches pistachios and doesn't have a trenchcoat.  The chase for Colombo is manipulated by Kristatos via a biathlon and a needless turn in ice hockey gear before a very awkward dinner with ex Mrs Brosnan.  There was nowhere near enough soft focus and vaseline going on to make her attractive and how she thinks that's a Liverpudlian accent is beyond me.  Our newly promoted director John Glen again reaches back to On Her Majesty's Secret Service as Mrs Brosnan is dispatched rather brutally on the beach.  We've already seen a cosy ride in the snow, a ski chase and a bobsleigh.  Nice to reference your first Bond film every now and then.

My wings may be a shield of steel but they're no match for Topol's hair

 Bond is kidnapped and dragged before a very Drago like Colombo.  It's now that the Fiddler on the Roof tells Bond the truth.  Bond really is getting gullible in his old age, he's buying stories of any Topol, Kristatos and Harry.  Dr Hans Zarkov proves that he is a good guy by taking Bond on a jolly to a drugs factory in Albania.  It seems that Kristatos is, indeed, a KGB'd up bad guy.  Especially when he appears to have a stash of mines like the one that blew up the St Georges.  It's amazing what Topol can do with some nutshells, his improbable hair and a penchant for dressing like a bin man.  He makes Neville Southall look dapper.

Coveted by Bond villains everywhere

The tension (remember that?) builds underwater as Bond goes after the elusive ATAC only to find the bastard Kristatos waiting for him on the surface, it's only dispelled as Moore talks to himself while cutting the ATAC free like a pensioner trying to get a Sky+ box to work.  Don't worry, the bad guys still have their obligatory yellow submarine.  A spot of keel-hauling from the novel of Live And Let Die and a chat with a parrot leads Bond to cracking Kristatos plan.  Yes, that said 'parrot'.  Just be grateful the fucking pigeon hasn't come back.  The tension is ramped up some more as Bond ascends to a remote monastery as Kristatos prepares for victory.  A sequence which Sylvester Stallone managed to turn into an entire film.

For Your Eyes Only sees Bond as gritty and realistic.  Devoid of gadgets Bond becomes the cold killer that we've been missing for ten years.  This is best shown as he says goodbye to the Belgian Lucque with a kick and an acceptable quip.  Bond is proven to be resourceful as the ATAC is lost to both sides.  Detente indeed.

Not only has Bond saved the western world but he's had a good go at rescuing United Artists too.  After their humbling with Heaven's Gate and Kris Kristofferson For Your Eyes Only provided some much needed box office dollar.  Despite this United Artists was swallowed up by MGM and Bond will be represented by a roaring lion from now on.  For Your Eyes Only shows that Bond can be realistic and successful.  Just don't mention Maggie Thatcher.  Hopefully the producers will keep this in mind for the next film.  Oh, wait, Octopussy's up next.

James Bond will return but he'll be doing an impression of Dr Dolittle.

Moonraker

The 70s are nearly over but there's still time for one more jolly with Roger.  This time we're all set for outer space.  The producers have gone zeitgeist shopping again and this time I blame George Lucas.  Star Wars has come along and changed films.  For the better? Well, Moonraker became the biggest grossing Bond film to date in 1979 and wasn't beaten until GoldenEye.  So there's that.

It's 1979 and unfortunate that the other space based film doing the rounds is Ridley Scott's Alien.  A tense and brooding thriller set in the used future.  Alien is dark and magnificent.  Moonraker is not.  That's a bit harsh on Moonraker perhaps but Roger's space race is a film of two parts.  Drax's nuclear missile of the novel is replaced by a space shuttle and as Bond investigates it's supposed crash and destruction it's actually quite good.  It's as if Eon saw The Spy Who Loved Me as a little too cheesy and tried to make Moonraker a little more serious.  But then we go globetrotting on a bizarre scale and Jaws comes back.

We begin with the RAF ferrying a US shuttle home for bed.  Yes, the RAF have replaced the Royal Navy of The Spy Who Loved Me and they're making such frightfully good time that they forgot to check the kitchen cupboards for two lurkers in black leather jackets.  Such is the movie shorthand that we instantly know that black leather jackets = bad guys. But why the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon walk?  The Moonraker shuttle is hijacked and assumed to have crashed much to the embarrassment of the British authorities.  As a result M recalls Bond from another mission.  This mission seems to be sleazing on a young girl aboard a small plane but the pilot has other ideas.  Jaws, quite literally, appears from nowhere and Bond is flying.  Parachuteless.  Mid air shenanigans follow before good ol' Shirley belts out another theme tune and Jaws ruins a circus.

M is driven into an almost fluster by the increasingly annoying and irrelvant Minister of Defence and so dispatches Bond to find out what happened to the Moonraker shuttle.  Where else to begin but California and the Drax estate.  We learn a couple of things from the Drax estate.  The main one is that only ladies fly helicopters in Moore's world.  At least this time she isn't removed by a Lotus-to-air missile.  It's also pretty obvious that Drax has some cash.  Well, quite a lot of cash.

Conservatory, pond, moonbase, garage.  All good homes need one

Drax seems to own Moonbase Alpha from Space 1999 and, of course, the Eiffel Tower.  However, Drax is definitely a bad guy as he's vaguely European and plays the piano like Hannibal Lecter plays the clavier. And he paraphrases Oscar Wilde. Dodgy.  He's also a little less than original as we soon find out he's basically stolen Stromberg's idea to create a new civilisation.  Little clues are dotted around, mainly in the form of Drax's odd habit of surrounding himself by pairs of pretty young ladies with various European titles.  Like the time when Mrs Noah went on her holidays.

Bond's investigation essentially involves a guided tour but when someone called Goodhead offers, you don't refuse.  We soon accompany Bond to a massive centrifuge.  'It's a trap!' we all cry yet Bond hops in eagerly.

Roger doing an impression of Harry Redknapp

A 70 year old can take 3 Gs according to Dr Goodhead. Moore (too busy trying to flirt) neglects to mention his advancing years and waits for some subliminal Q action to save himself from turning into Droopy.  Drax's evil henchman scurries away to change his pyjamas.  Sufficiently recovered from his ordeal Bond puts phase two of Moore espionage into operation.  Phase Two is 'shag the secretary' and doesn't it work well?  Bond learns he must now go to Venice.  The secretary isn't so lucky.  Corinne Dufour's death is very well done and all the more horrific for it.  Chased through the woods we know there will only be one outcome.  So far Moonraker hasn't been that bad.  Yes we've had some cheesy moments but there's been some genuine tension too.

Then there's Venice and the pigeon.  The fucking pigeon. We were doing so well until we got to Venice.  Then Bond hopped into his gondola.  Inexplicable Hammer horror extras chase Bond down the canals and all the good work is beginning to come undone.  A touch of Close Encounters of The Third Kind and Bond has found a secret lab, bumped into Dr Goodhead again and embarrassed his boss.  Nevermind all that we're off to Rio.

It's licorice, deal with it

Moore's wannabe Junkanoo skit sees Jaws reappear and a bimble up Sugarloaf Mountain.  The film is falling apart faster than that cable car control room and we're back into the realms of random villains appearing just to provide a chase scene.  The only punctuation is a casual British base in Brazil as we find out that Drax is going to kill everyone with flowers.  He may as well have given out maps as these flowers only grow in one place.  Now where could Drax be, I wonder?  This 'comedic' infodump is bookended by another chase.  This time down the Amazon.  Words fail me it's that bad.

Wait thirty seconds and Bond finds Drax's secret and very plastic base.  The polystyrene wobbles as Bond has a roll around with a snake (not like that, although that was probably in the script for a while).  For some reason this is all watched over by girls in togas.  The Grigori angels are less than please when Bond defeats the snake, however, Bond is soon captured and listening to Drax explain everything about his evil plan.

So that's where Petr Cech got it from

We're off to Drax's space station to see if Bond can stop the eugenics. And stop it he does, naturally.  With some cod psychology and a battery of Marines that the world just happened to have standing by.  The end battle of Moonraker is a rehash of The Spy Who Loved Me's rehash of You Only Live Twice.  Except this time they've borrowed some sound effects rejected by the Cylons.

Bond successfully manages to complete re-entry, which is getting more and more impressive as Roger gets older , and Bond's lost decade is almost over.  Moore's Bond started so well but began to peter out quickly.  The franchise has become almost happy to spoof itself.  Hopefully this trend will change in the 80s.

James Bond will return but will Roger?